Posted by Armand on April 29, 2000 at 10:40:03:
http://tw.h2g2.com/A158546 is the online Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy entry for "motorbikes". I think after
reading this we all ought to pack up and go home, it
says it all really:
[ quote ]
A motorbike is a crude metal framework isolated from
the ground by two rubber hoops. While many explain
the benefits of this arrangement, all it really means
is that you fall over when you stop.
Motorbikes are often equipped with disproportionately
large engines that propel the machine and its rider at
hazardous speeds. Should the rider fall off, he or she
will come into contact with the road, slide along its
surface and vanish into the scenery. If you hear
muffled cries for an ambulance coming from a tree,
don't worry, it's only a motorcyclist.
As a method of transport, motorbikes are dreadful. If
you ride them in the rain, you get wet. If you ride
them in the sun, it will start to rain.
There is no glove compartment and no cigarette lighter. There is also no steering wheel: you
determine your route by leaning in the direction you
wish to travel, just as you would if you were drunk.
You also have to wear a bulbous metal hat with a
visor. If you open the visor, your mouth fills up with
wasps and your head vibrates. If you close it, the
wasps can't get out and you have to swallow them.
Motorcyclists ride everywhere at 170mph. This means
that car drivers can't see them, and have accidents
with them. Motorcyclists therefore hate car drivers.
[ end quote ]